Preferential Treatment

"My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?" (James 2:1)

Recently in a small group meeting, we discussed the early verses of the second chapter of James and all of the ways we show preferential treatment towards certain people. The Bible tells us clearly that if we have God's heart for others, we will not distinguish between rich and poor, attractive and unattractive or young and old. We will not seek relationship only with those that have the same skincolor as we do, root for the same sports team or speak with the same accent.

But, as I've pondered my personal tendencies to "prefer" one person over another, I've come to realize that my actions are often based on something deeper and, I think, darker. Left to my own doing, I am naturally (as in sin-nature) inclined to surround myself with only those people that feed and support my personal sense of rightness, well-being and ease.

I may not recognize it immediately as I survey my closest relationships, but if I look with a more critical eye, it becomes apparent that those I allow into my innermost circle generally serve to benefit me in some way, reinforce my lifestyle and beliefs, appease my ego and satisfy personal needs.

Granted, it is not inherently bad that marriage relationships and close friendships will provide a sense of belonging and of being understood and supported and accepted. But, don't we miss a greater call and purpose in relationship if we always keep at arms distance (at best) those that challenge our ways of thinking, those that might require significant sacrifice from us or those with whom it seems hardest to find common ground?

I recently finished what I now consider one of the top books I've ever read, Same Kind Of Different As Me, and because it is a true story, it opened my eyes in a new way to the depth of connection possible between people from seemingly opposite walks of life. And I am convinced that we really sell ourselves and others short in the way we usually pick and choose our relationships. I think that is at least part of the reason God considers partiality a sin (James 2:9). It cuts short the work His heart longs to do in us through those we least expect.