Mushy Truth

"Where, indeed would any of us be if God's blessing had been withheld till all our notions were right? Every Christian without exception experiences far more in the way of mercy and help than the quality of his notions warrants."

- J.I. Packer, Keep in Step With The Spirit

In the event that I begin to take myself and this blog too seriously, God graciously sends a word my way to make sure I remember that I am always indebted to his mercy as I try to work out my faith.

My heart desperately desires to know truth, but the truth is that sometimes piecing it all together is like trying to tie a knot with an overcooked spaghetti noodle. Everything just kind of pulls apart and turns to mush.

And I think sometimes the hardest surrender for me is the one that requires letting go of the need to completely understand, to fully grasp, to "get it." Instead, God asks me to trust that somehow in ways that I won't even realize and am probably least able to articulate, he is molding and shaping and guiding me to become what he's always desired and designed me to be.

As much as I want to, I won't be able to see the road that he's laid out, the road on which I currently walk, until I've reached the gates of his kingdom. Then, I'll turn around, and the path that has been partly to densely clouded every day of my life on earth, will be spread out behind me plain as day. Proof that my destiny has been certain. Evidence that "haphazard" isn't in my God's vocabulary.

Oh, how I long for that day! And how I long for more grace to let me rest in the One Who Sustains me until then.