Radical Relationships

I had an inkling that God wasn't going to let me off the hook with one blog about conversation and behavior and relationships. Then, as I turned to my One-Year Bible and read the Psalm for today, my suspicion was confirmed:

"I will watch what I do and not sin in what I say . . ." (Psalm 39:1)

I have a number of notes jotted down from a recent quiet time. But, I have hesitated to write them because, while a number of my previous posts have been bold and potentially challenging, this latest word has hit so close to home that I have had a particularly hard time hearing and applying it myself.

So, as a matter of being faithful to what I hear God speaking, as I have committed myself to do, and as an effort to hold myself more accountable by making these words public, they are being recorded today. Here goes . . .

As we question our intentions in our speech and actions (are we seeking the favor of men or of God?), we uncover the truth about our very lives. We learn a lot about the purity of our faith and the sincerity of our devotion by dissecting our conversations and behaviors within our relationships.

Are we most concerned with shared passion and allegiance to Christ, or are we most concerned with feeling good and having fun. Do we care most that those we love grow and mature in their faith or do we care most that we have interesting talks and memorable experiences with them as often as we can?

Let me state that I truly believe that God intends to fill our lives with abundant joys and meaningful interactions. Moreover, the greatest pleasures and most significant moments of my life have been in the context of holy (Christ-centered) fellowship -- my wedding ceremony, the baptisms of my children, prayer meetings with brothers and sisters in Christ. In fact, those times seem to be a literal "taste of heaven."

Certainly, human relationships have the potential for great beauty and tremendous mutual enjoyment and can be mysterious representations of Christ's love and the fellowship savored by the Trinity. Marriage, as we know, is also specifically a visible reminder on earth of a heavenly reality of the union between Christ and the church.

But human relationships can also be stumbling blocks if our goal is merely the development and positive maintenance of those relationships.

You can live a good life (according to the world's standards) by having close relationships with friends and family -- shared interests, shared food, shared laughter, shared tears -- and all of it have nothing to do with Christ.

In such relationships, you make each other feel good, you stroke each other's egos and you may genuinely care for one another and seek to do good things for one another, but you don't go so far as to call one another to a higher standard in Christ. You don't serve to hold one another accountable or exhort one another to dig deeper into God.

Do you find that it is more comfortable and natural to share a meal and a few jokes with those in your closest circle than it is to share a Bible verse and a prayer? Is it more common and agreeable to talk of music and movies than to talk of Christ and the workings of His Spirit?

For many Christians, the answer to those questions is "yes," even when they are among fellow believers. Why are we divided and double-minded?

I have found at times in my own life relationships that standards are relaxed for the sake of the enjoyment of the relationships themselves -- to prevent the possibility of being bogged down in "Churchy" stuff because it ruins the atmosphere!

But at such times, "freedom" in Christ is used as an excuse to allow the children bought by His blood to settle and actually rejoice in each other more than in Him. We make each other idols, the "lovers less wild" that make us feel special and wanted, and we choose to find our identity and well-being in one another rather than in our Lord.

Christ calls for unity. I think part of that unity is within the individual through the meshing of our inward reality as "hidden with Christ" and our outward speech and behavior, particularly within the fellowship of believers.

What follows from that is true unity that develops among us as that meshing takes place in each of our lives and we encourage and support one another through the process.

Keep in mind and in heart that there is an earthly love that pats another on the back and says, "I'm okay, you're okay. What's for lunch?" Then there is a heavenly love that says, "We will never be okay without Christ. I will not settle for less than my entire life centered around Him. Will you?"

I want my relationships on earth to be filled with the latter, so that the benefits can be enjoyed for eternity.